The Curate Your Life Podcast with Temetria

Stay In Your Lane

August 09, 2022 Temetria McVea Episode 3
The Curate Your Life Podcast with Temetria
Stay In Your Lane
Show Notes Transcript

This episode is about trusting yourself to know what you want, why it is right for you, and how to achieve it.

All too often, we compare ourselves to others or look outside ourselves for the answers.

Today we explore why and how you can find the answers by deciding what you want from life and why.

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Welcome to The Project You Podcast, where each week you'll find topics, tools, and tips that will help you bridge the gap between the life you are living and the life you are dreaming about. If you are ready to take control and unleash all that is possible in your life, you are in the right place. And now your host, Certified Life Coach Temetria McVea.

Hi, y'all. Thank you for tuning into The Project You Podcast - Unleashing the Possibilities of Your Life. 

This is Episode 3 - Stay In Your Lane 

And this episode is just as much for me as it is for you. I actually had to stop and really think about this when I was working on the podcast. I'd shared a post about staying in your lane a couple of weeks ago, so I was a little surprised when this snuck up on me.

When you're not staying in your lane, it shows up a couple of ways. It looks like comparing yourself to others, and it looks like looking outside of yourself for answers.

So this happened to me with the podcast. As I was working on the podcast and planning how I was going to get them done, record them, edit them, etc. I had big plans one weekend to get four or five episodes done, and things were not working out as expected. It was taking me longer to do each episode which, when I look back at it, was not surprising because I'd never done it before. And what I realized was that I was comparing my novice, Googled-it skills to people who have been podcasting for a while. People who I'm pretty certain record several episodes at a time and then send them off to be professionally produced and prettied up. And so before I understood that, I was frustrated because I thought I should be able to do what so-and-so does, but I was comparing my newbie, podcasting DYI self to their been-podcasting-for-years-with-paid-producer selves, so, of course, I was frustrated with the results. 

And this is something that happens to a lot of us, especially when we're trying something new. I liken it to comparing your best date-night hair and makeup skills to the Photoshopped picture of a supermodel on the cover of a magazine. Because we know deep down inside that it's not possible, probably, and that it's not logical, but we do it anyway. We compare ourselves to an impossible standard, and then when we fall short, we feel like crap. 

And I'm not saying that we shouldn't have goals and dreams. And I'm not even saying that they shouldn't be big goals, or even impossible goals, that make us really have to stretch and get uncomfortable. But what I'm saying is we should not compare ourselves to other people. We have to stay in our lane. You can strive for growth and strive to expand your life, but do it for yourself and for your reasons. So you need to know and like your reasons for doing something because then it comes from a true, genuine place. One way you can get clear on your lane and your reasons for being in your lane is to spend your energy and your time focused on what you want and why; and the results that you want to create. Because when you compare yourselves to others, you're not setting yourself up for success. You're more than likely setting yourself up for frustration. Because you don't necessarily know where they started, what tools they have, what help they have; compared to where you're starting, the tools you have, et cetera. And if you're not doing it the way they're doing it, it's easy to tell yourself that you're doing it wrong. And that may not be true. It may just mean that you're doing it your way. And the world is huge, and your audience is huge and diverse, and the people surrounding you need you! They don't need you copying somebody else. They don't need you copying someone else's energy and personality. They need you to bring your smarts, and your energy, and your personality to whatever you're bringing to the world.

And this comparing ourselves shows up in everyday life too. It shows up everywhere. And a lot of it has to do with social media. Social media has made it really easy for us to be in everybody's business. And I think it's really clouded our ability to really figure out what we want our lives to be and what we want our lives to look like. I think it's added to the list of “shoulds” that we have in our life. 

We “should” vacation like them. 
We “should” have a perfect family photo with everybody in blue jeans and white shirts. 
We “should” have great pictures of girls’ night out. 

And I'm not saying that people shouldn't post those things or that there's anything wrong with them. We just all need to remember that they're curated images to show us what they want us to see.

And I've posted those pictures, too. I've posted vacations and girls' nights out, showing you all the fun. But what you might not necessarily see is Saturday morning after girls' night out, when I'm not looking my best... or when I'm not feeling my best.

That's why one of the most important things you can do for yourself is to spend time focused on what you want in life, and what you want your life to look like, and why.

And hopefully, it's a deeper reason than, "Well, Sally's life looks like it's so much fun on Facebook." Because she's not showing you what she looked like Saturday morning after she rolled out of bed after girls' night out. Or, maybe she is; Sally might be a tell-all kind of girl. But more than likely, it's a very edited picture of what's going on.

So I think comparing ourselves to others leads us to the second thing that takes us out of our lane. And that's looking for answers outside of ourselves. Because if we're looking at what they're doing, we need them, or somebody, to tell us how they're doing it. Because if we can't even trust ourselves to know what we want, how are we going to trust ourselves to know how to do it?

So, of course, the answer has to be out there. So you have to really get clear on what you want and why. And then your brain will go to work on figuring it out, on figuring out how to get you there. How to achieve it.

And so the next time you try something that's maybe not easy. Or, that's uncomfortable, and you look outside yourself to see how it's done, stop and ask yourself why. Why are you looking out there? What if the way you're about to do it and the way you're about to present it to the world is the new best way? Or just the best way.

When you can look inside and really figure out what you want, and trust yourself to make the decision, and then trust yourself to have your own back in carrying out the decision, that is when you're in your lane and being true to yourself and being your authentic self. That's when you tap into the magic and the reason you're here. And the world needs the unique you, you were born to be.

So I'm committing to you, and I'm committing to me to bring you this podcast from my most genuine self. Doing my best with my Googled-it and figuring-it-out-along-the-way tools. I realize that maybe I was not meant to produce four, or five, or six podcasts in a weekend when I have to write, record, and edit them myself. The audience, the people that need to hear what I am bringing, will flock to T, me, not robot Temetria, that's trying to sound like a radio disc jockey when that's not who I am. 

So going forward, there will be edits, but it won't be edited down to the micro-minute taking out every tap on the desk when I get excited or every um. And I will sometimes sound froggy because I live in Texas, and we're allergy-ridden. 

So I will stay in my lane with this podcast which is bringing you episodes that may not be edited perfectly but will bring you powerful information to help you level up your life and create the life that you are dreaming of. Until next week…

If you're ready to take on the most important project of your life, subscribe to the podcast now so you never miss an episode. Follow the link in the show notes or go to coachtemetria.com. That's coachT E M E T R I A.com to download the free Project You mini-course and unleash all that is possible in your life.