Welcome to the Curate Your Life with Temetria podcast, where we focus on curating the life you've been dreaming of one goal at a time.
Alright, I want to tell you all about a cookie that is helping me get to who I want to be. And I know this could be a little crazy, so stick with me. I ordered dinner last night, and I got a free cookie. They put a cookie in the bag. I didn't order it. I didn't pay for it, but there was a huge chocolate chip cookie with big chunks of chocolate in it, and I thought, okay, well, they sent a free cookie.
That's fine. I didn't eat it because that was not what I planned. So I put it away. Actually, it was out on my counter for a little bit, and then when I cleaned up my kitchen, I put it in the pantry. I'm like out of sight, out of mind.
I get coffee this morning. It's 9:36 right now. I got my coffee this morning. And I opened the pantry to toss something into the trash, and I could smell that cookie. I'm like, what's that? I'm like, oh, that's that cookie? It was kinda eye-I level, nose-level, evidently. Um, and so I grabbed it. The smell triggered something in my brain. And I thought that would be really good with my coffee.
So I grabbed the cookie. And I came in here, and I sat down and started to work, and I had I think, three bites of the cookie. And I don't know what clicked, but something clicked, and I'm like, this is not who I want to be. This is not my plan. This is not what is going to get me to my goal. So I tossed it.
I got up, and I threw it away. And again, it was yay big. (I’m doing video too, for the people in podcast land.) It was a pretty big cookie, and it had those big, yummy chunks of chocolate in it. And I just said no. I'm like, this action, right now, is not going to get me to where I want to be. So I tossed that cookie. And I was thinking about that. I'm like, that's what we need to do. We need to think about what we're doing now, and how it's going to affect us in the future.
This is the holidays, right? We're coming up on Christmas, and Hannuka is right now, and then we're coming up on the New Year and all the people (a lot of people) are planning their New Year's resolutions and setting goals and things like that for the New Year.
And I'm all for goals, I don't so much do New Year's resolutions anymore; I'm for setting goals. And I also set a word of the year. And if you go back and listen to last week's podcast, I talked about that with a coach friend. And it's a really good podcast. We had a lot of fun, and it talked about Word of the Year. And it, too is about stepping into who you want to be.
So that would probably be a good podcast to listen to in addition to this because it is about starting now and stepping into who you want to be.
And, I used to have this thought, and I think probably a lot of other people have this thought, oh, next year is going to be different. But what I want to share, what came to me a few minutes ago, was that for next year to be different, for me to be different and hit my goal that I set, I need to be different right now. I need to do things differently right now for that Future T to be who I want her to be. So that's kind of what I want to talk to you about today.
It's what we're doing in this moment that's going to change what we have in the future. That's going to affect what we have in the future. So if you have a goal, say, losing weight and being in better health, that cookie, in this moment, is not going to get you to that goal. Not having that cookie is going to get you to that goal. It's one step, right?
But I have to become the person who doesn't have a cookie for breakfast. And normally I do not have cookies for breakfast. I don't even have cookies in the house. But when it presented itself, I needed to be the person to say, no, that's not who I need to be now to get where I want to be. And she kicked in, thank goodness. She kicked in, and I took the right action as soon as I could.
That's the other thing, we don't have to do this perfectly. But just thinking about that, like it's not going to magically happen; next year at this time is not going to be your year and things aren't going to be great if you don't start to change what you're doing, the actions that you're taking. The way that you're thinking. So that has to change; you have to step into who you want to become and think about what they're doing.
Another example. Let's say you're single and you want to start dating. You're probably going to have to go out of the house or get online and meet people. You're going to have to be the person who is open to people coming into your circle or who is stepping out of their comfort zone and going to put yourself out and in front of people, making connections and it may be uncomfortable.
But you're never going to get there if you are in your same circle of people that you've been with, and there's nobody datable in that circle. You're going to step out of that circle, or you're going to have to bring more people into that circle. But you're not going to be able to do the same things that you're doing right now and have what you want in the future.
You know that saying the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.
It would be like sitting on your couch looking around, and thinking about how you want to live in a clean, organized, Comfortable house, but not doing anything about the laundry that's piled up or the mess that's in your kitchen, or the stack of paper on your table. That's not going to change unless you change. So you have to just start somewhere. Let's just use the example of the house. Let's just say it's laundry like you can't keep up with the laundry. It's out of control. You have piles; piles of clean, piles of dirty, and there's always something in the washer.
Thinking that one of these days, I'm going to be the kind of person who does my laundry and puts it away right away starts with the thought, Okay what can I do right now to become that person? And it may be one simple step. I'm going to put this pile of clean laundry away. That's you on your way to becoming that person who does their laundry, folds it, and puts it away right away. It is that simple.
It starts with the thought of. What can I do now? It doesn’t have to be perfect. What small action can I take?
And I like the question, ‘What one thing can I do right now to move me toward my goal?’ Not what perfect thing. Not what huge thing. What one step can I take right now? Just one step. But that starts to build that muscle of doing what you say you're going to do, of taking action. And it becomes easier each time.
I talked about this on a podcast a few weeks back about little quits. Every time you say you have a plan, you say you're going to do something, you have a goal that you're going to set, and you do something contrary to that, you quit on yourself a little bit. And you start to build that belief inside that you're a person who does not do what they say they're going to do. So, switching your actions and your thoughts and taking little actions, no matter how small they are, will start to build up and accumulate. And you will start to believe that you're the person who tosses a cookie because that cookie is not going to get you to the goal that you set for yourself.
So think about it as you're planning for the new year as you’re wanting something different, something bigger in the New Year. Think about what that is. Think about why I always think it's really important to have a good, solid reason for why you want it.
Not why you think you should want it? Not why other people think you should want it or do something. Why you want to do it. So think about that. And then ask yourself... Okay I'm not a big proponent of starting January 1 or Monday or whatever, but even if that's what you're telling yourself, I'm going to start January 1; start asking yourself now, what can I do today to mentally prepare for January 1?
Let's go with, if you're going to be on a diet if you're going to get healthy, stop buying the things now that you know are not going to support that. Maybe you have them when you're out. Maybe if you're at a party, you have them, but step one would be not having them in the house now. Or, drinking more water now, or maybe trying to get in some walks during the season when everybody's so busy. That's a whole other podcast because we don't do busy around here either. But just ask yourself, what do I need to be thinking, what do I need to be doing now to step into that person that I want to be in the future?
So I'll give you another example: when I was starting my coaching business, I was working full-time and I was doing this on the side, nights and weekends. But I knew I wanted to do it full-time, so I asked myself like, what am I going to need to do? I'm going to need hours to build this business.
So, I had set hours that I worked in my business when I was working full-time I had set hours that I would focus on my business. So, when I was ready to leave my job and go full-time, one of the things that I did was a few weeks out, a few weeks before it happened, I actually set my calendar to look the way I knew it was going to look when I was full-time in my business. So I was ready. I was thinking ahead, like, what has to happen? Who do I have to be for all of that to come together?
So that's just what I have for you today. A question to ask yourself as you're planning for goals and resolutions (if you're doing resolutions), or if you're setting your Word of the Year, ask yourself, who do I need to become to hit that goal? What do I need to do now? What can I do now to get to the place that I want to be?
And I will just say that I have been that person. I've been the person to set New Year's resolutions thinking that magically, on January 1st, things were going to be different. Then one year, actually it was 2018, I asked myself, okay, then what is going to be different? What are you going to be different? And I had just found a coach, and I was listening to her, and that was different. Right? I'd never tried anything like that. And so I made that leap; that was the thing that I did differently that year. I hired a coach, and it moved me to the place where I wanted to be. And I'm still a work in progress, right? But I do know now that if I want something different in the future, I have to be different now. I have to do things differently now to get there.
So, if you want something different in the future, think about what you're going to do differently now to get there.
And if you need help, I'd love to help you with that. You can schedule a consultation with me, and we can talk about how to get you to your future you.
Until next time...